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Turning personal tragedy into a ministry

By Ben Silvester
Staff Reporter

Thursday would have been the day Sara Bunke celebrated her seventh birthday.

Instead, her family will take the day off from its regular schedules and recall fond memories of the child who was killed by an alleged drunk driver six months ago.

It will also be a time for a family that has turned a terrible tragedy into a positive message for others to work on spreading those messages even farther.

"Sara enjoyed going to Cracker Barrel on a date with her daddy," said her mother Rebecca. "She would be her Pa's nurse when he was sick and take him a snack with a drink while he worked in his shop. Sara loved to listen to her Grandpa Bunke's Bible stories and was always eager to answer the questions at the end."

On Aug. 4, Sara was killed when the pickup truck her father Paul was driving outside of Dobson, was struck by an SUV. Also in the truck were her brothers Philip, 5, and Paul Jr., 7.

Paul, Philip and P.J. were transported to Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center in Winston Salem where, two days later, Philip died from his injuries. Paul has recovered from knee surgery while P.J. continues rehabilitation for his injuries.

Thursday, Paul, Rebecca and P.J. will breakfast at Cracker Barrel to remember Sara. They will take the day, along with Sara's three other brothers, Peter Joseph, 3, and year-old twins Caleb and Joshua, to remember the good things about her, reflect on their priorities and make plans.

"It (Cracker Barrel dates with his daughter) is one of my best memories," said Paul Bunke.

Thinking back, it seems clear to the family through actions Sara took they thought only slightly out-ofordinary at the time, that she made peace with and prepared her siblings and parents for her untimely death.

"One thing that's clear now is a picture she colored in Sunday School the day before (the accident)," Paul Bunke said. "It was of Jesus with a boy in one hand and a girl in the other."

In what the Bunkes describe as a sort of foreshadowing, Sara, usually not outspoken asked for a prayer for her family at the same Sunday's service and made a point of doling out special hugs to all of her family members at dinner. The day of the wreck, Rebecca phoned Paul to tell him she was having a particularly difficult time with their children that day and requested he come home.

"She told me that she felt their (Philip and Sara's) love tanks were empty," Paul Bunke said. "So we each took them on our laps and held them.

"I think its amazing that little things like that happen. You can't explain it. It was like we were being prepared."

Contrary to popular belief of what such a tragedy would do to a family, the Bunkes did mourn the loss of their daughter and son, but did so in a way which has positively impacted family and friends.

A deeply religious family, the Bunkes were determined to not be lost in the grief of such a tragedy and turned that loss around and concentrated their emotions towards creating a small ministry, community action group and church playground.

"We started Bunke Family Ministries to go around and encourage families to their priorities straight and focus on their goals," Paul Bunke said. "We are not trying to scare anyone with our stories, but we are trying to educate them, that if they are chosen to be a parent, the right way to be."

The ministry has Paul and Rebecca speaking to various church groups and, with the help of P.J., also singing at the meetings.

Now that the majority of P.J.'s corrective surgeries have been completed, most recently one to close a hole in an artery at his heart, Paul Bunke expects to have time to travel to more churches and group meetings anticipating his family's message.

"We also helped to start a group called Believers Against Drunk Driving," Paul Bunke said.

With the help of a Mount Airy pastor, Dewayne Sands, Believers Against Drunk Driving held its first meeting in November.

The group intends to lobby legislators on drunken driving laws.

Paul and Rebecca are focusing on their website where they correspond with more than 500 people across the nation.

"We have been able to do informal counseling through email," said Paul Bunke, adding that his correspondence list grows daily and even sees the potential for international contacts.

Through contributions to the Bunke Family Memorial, a playground at Temple Baptist Church in Mount Airy is becoming a reality.

"We're hearing parents telling us that they're spending a little bit more time with their kids," Paul Bunke said. "They're telling their kids they love them. They're maybe not so stressed out about life to spend a little more time at home and treasure the people they care about. I think it has helped other people's faith by hearing us.

"There's a lot of opportunity for good to come out of this and we're absolutely determined that that's what's going to happen.

"We're hoping people will look at this situation and realize how short life is and to love their kids and cherish every moment with them."

For more information contact the Bunkes at 366-3883 or visit their website at www.bunkefamily.com.

Photo courtesy of the Bunke family Before being killed in a car accident six months ago, Sara Bunke was developing a talent for playing the piano.

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